Автор Пользователь удален задал вопрос в разделе Лингвистика
Правильный ли перевод с русского на английский? Какие ошибки? и получил лучший ответ
Ответ от Sagitta[гуру]
Your Luggage, Please (p. 2)
A Customs officer meets (the) passengers who haVE arrived by the Kabul flight. Because of my not having been let into the finer points of customs clearing, it seems to me that he is not careful (attentive)enough.
But suddenly I hear different notes in his voice: "Open your suitcase, please!"
The Customs officer whispers in my ear: "I`m sure he brings contraband/is smuggling smth in/is a smuggler". Then he proposes that the passenger (should) go/step (in)to the next/adjoining room.
I am invited there in a minute. From under the ripped lining of his jacket, gold coins with the image of King George the Fifth spill on the table, ringing melodiously
"I was... asked... to give/hand them over to a man/someone," the smuggler mutterS.
I ask the inspector why he haS paid attention to that very character/person although there were/are hundreds of people there.
"It`s a matter of experience and developed intuition," the Customs officer says.
Пусть это будет настоящее время. Если надо в прошедшем, тогда вставляйте Past Indefinite.
ломанный какой-то перевод. много ошибок. во 2 предложении структура не та. в предложении But suddenly I hear different notes in his voice нужно заменить слово different на синоним. в предложении Then he proposed that the passenger should go to
the next room много лишних слов. From under не употребляются вместе (и структуру всего предложения поменять нужно) . в предложении I asked the inspector why he had payed attention to just that character although there were hundreds of people there нужно убрать had и just that. предложение It`s a matter of experience and developped intuition нужно заменить на It's my experience & intuition
Заголовок хорошо переведен.
В остальном: довольно небрежно обращаетесь с грамматикой (people who have arrived), в частности, с временами и артиклями. Если у вас повествование в настоящем времени, то и повествуйте в настоящем, если в прошедшем, то держитесь прошедшего. Порядок слов тоже не всегда удачно выбирается, на мой взгляд.
developed
В целом нормально.