анекдоты про ленина

Ответ от Ѝлвис Пресли[гуру]
Ленин -- жил, Ленин -- жив, Ленин -- будет жить !..

Ответ от Валерий Жемчужный[гуру]
Идет встреча школьников с ветераном революции.
Один мальчик спрашивает:
- Бабушка, а вы Ленина видели?
- Видела сынок, видела.
- А какой он Ленин-то?
- Добрый он дети, ох добрый.
- Случилось это зимой 18ого. Стою я на улице, совсем замерзла,
голодная, а тут Владимир Ильич из булочной бежит. Я ему говорю:
"Здравствуйте Владимир Ильич"
- Здгавствуй бабушка.
- Hе дадите ли немного хлебца, а то совсем голодно
Он и отвечает "Пошла на х$@ стагая", а глаза у самого такие
добрые-добрые...

Ответ от Ramires[гуру]
Ленин взбирается на броневик, перед ним ликующая толпа кричит:
- ЛЕННОН, ЛЕННОН!! !
Ленин:
- Да не Леннон я, а Ленин!
Толпа:
- ЛЕННОН, ЛЕННОН!
Ленин:
- Да Ленин я!
Толпа:
- ЛЕННОН, ЛЕННОН!
Ленин:
- Да хрен с вами.. . Yesterday... All my troubles seemed so far away!

Ответ от Пользователь удален[гуру]
У него сегодня днюха.

Ответ от Iriska[гуру]
В тбилиском театре пьеса о Ленине: на сцене за столом сидит Ленин, кепка-аэродром. Заходит посыльный, докладывает:
-Владимир Ильич, грузинские рабочие прислали Вам вагон мандарин.
-Отдайте детям!
Через 2 минуты:
-Владимир Ильич! Армянские рабочие прислали Вам цистерну коньяка!
-Отдайте детям!
Голос из зала:
-Зачем детям коньяк?
Ленин подходит к краю сцены и с возмущением кричит в зал:
-Слушай, кто здесь Ленин: ты или я? На кепку, играй!

Ответ от Dani Kris[новичек]
A terrible desire
As a child, I slept in the same room with her grandmother. Grandma, it happened at night screaming, and I was told to wake her, so she did not had a heart attack. Once she began to cry thinly so, and I began to bother her and ask:
- Why are you shouting?
- Aunt came.
- Well, well, Aunt? You cry Why?
- Came and wants to sing.
That's all I got. Maybe Aunt bad and you can not let her sing, and maybe sings out of tune.
The daughter of composer
At the very grandmother's hearing it was excellent, and she considered herself comes from a musical family. Her father, she said, "well-known kompozytor" Gideon Fidman wrote a march in honor of the king, for which he was honored by the Emperor of the security certificates, which could have saved (but not saved) from the pogroms.
- You go to a music shop? - Asked the grandmother demanded from music teachers who came to our house to teach children to play the piano.
- Yes, of course - to the amazement of the teacher replied.
- And you do not meet the notes Gideon Fidmana?
- No. And who is it?
- How do you know Gideon Fidmana? It is a known kompozytor. This is because he wrote padespan. You know? - And she sang well-known tune: -Padespanets - cute dance, it is very easy to tantseva-to-be.
- You want to say that the music of Gideon ...uh ..
- Well, yes, Gideon Fidmana ...- and, looking down modestly adds: - This is my father.
The deadly rivalry
Modesty grandmother went to his father. He was so shy that could not defend their rights. For example, in Odessa competed two kompozytora - Fidman and Cherneckii. Chernetskiy wrote all the marches and was very successful, because these marches immediately do all the military bands. But his musical talent began to dry up, and then he made - Vitenka according to this word? - Yes, plagiarism. He wanted to be seen as the author of the march, who wrote Gideon Fidman. He went mad and ended his days in the hospital for the insane. In the House he cut up his veins and the blood on the wall of the written notes of the march. Nothing could be done. It was written in blood, and rightly so, although the author of a Fidman. This music is often played. Grandma sat down at the piano (she was playing by ear) and performed with bravura the well-known melody. In my opinion, I can not remember exactly, it was the "Farewell of Slav."
Of course, I was proud of his great-grandfather, and later often told this story at a party or guests. Once, when I once again lead the singing "Farewell of Slav", I noticed that sitting across the table from me Cute Eugene Arenzon engorged with blood.
- Am I sang out of tune? - I was worried.
- The fact is, - said indignantly Arenzon - that my great-grandfather, the composer Cherneckii never went crazy and certainly did not steal tune.
- I do not know, I do not know - I replied coldly.
We have met many times afterwards, but never mentioned our ancestors. (And another of his relative, I have mentioned a lot more successful, talking with an artist who was in the same degree of kinship with the lawyer Gruzenberg, defended Mendel Beilis, I the hero of this process).
Odessa relatives
About aunt had to sing at night to scare my grandmother, I still did not recognize, because the day my grandmother could not remember what was crying in his sleep. Was it really one of her many aunts or grandmother called because some Odessa lady who remembered her as a child? Odessa, in my view, was literally awash with my grandmother, and so, and my relatives. With some relatives I later met - with my aunt Fanya with Blum's aunt, and uncle Mozey. But about them I did not find out who, in fact, they account for aunts and uncles.
- There were fourteen (or sixteen?) Shower children

Ответ от 3 ответа[гуру]

Ответ от 3 ответа[гуру]