смешные фразы на английском

Ответ от Artem Proshak[гуру]
If at first you don't succeed skydiving is not for you.
Five days a week my body is a temple. The other two it's an amusement park.
People who say you can't buy happiness just don't know where to shop.
I am a Nobody. Nobody is Perfect. Therefore I am Perfect.
Age is a very high price to pay for maturity.
If Noah had been smart he would have swatted those two flies.
I can only please one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow is not looking good either.
Reality is only an illusion that occurs due to a lack of alcohol.
I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.
How come we have to choose from just 2 persons for president, and 50 for Miss America?
We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things get worse.
Ninety-nine percent of all lawyers give the rest a bad name.
The more I learn about terrorism, the more I understand the phone company.
Ham and Eggs: A day's work for a chicken; A lifetime commitment for a pig.
I want to die while asleep like my grandfather, not screaming in terror like the passengers in his car One day pleasure
Nine months pain
Three months rest
And then try it again. A true friend stabs you in the front."- Oscar Wilde
"A friend to all is a friend to none."- Aristotle
"Business, you know, may bring money, but friendship hardly ever does."- Jane Austen
"Friends are relatives you make for yourself." - Eustache Deschamps
"Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate." - Thomas Jones"
"The best time to make friends is before you need them." - Ether Barrymore
"Friendship is like money, easier made than kept." - Samuel Butler
"Friends: people who borrow my books and set wet glasses on them." - Edwin Arlington Robinson
"We English are good at forgiving our enemies; it releases us from the obligation of liking our friends." - P.D. James
"A friend is one who knows us, but loves us anyway." - Fr. Jerome Cummings
"Love is blind; friendship closes its eyes." – Anonymous
"Marriage is a sort of friendship recognized by the police." – Anonymous
"Men kick friendship around like a football, but it doesn't seem to crack. Women treat it like glass and it goes to pieces." - Anne Morrow Lindbergh
"One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends is that three out of four murders are committed by people who know the victim." - George Carlin
"Friendship. A ship big enough to carry two in fair weather, but only one in foul." -Ambrose Bierce
"An old friend will help you move. A good friend will help you move a dead body." - Jim Hayes
"A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked." - Bernard Meltzer
"Give me one friend, just one, who meets the needs of all my varying moods." - Esther M. Clark
"Love is blind. Friendship tries not to notice." - Anonymous
"I got a lot of best friends. Some o' them I don't even hardly know!" - Archie Bunker
"It takes a long time to grow an old friend." - John Leonard
"Only your real friends will tell you when your face is dirty." – Silican proverb.
"Friends are God's ways of apologizing for our families." - Anonymous
"Tis the privilege of friendship to talk nonsense, and have her nonsense respected." - Charles Lamb
"Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another, 'What! You too? I thought I was the only one." - C.S. Lewis
"Show me a genuine case of platonic friendship, and I shall show you two old or homely faces."- Austin O'Malley
"Friendship is a pretty full-time occupation if you really are friendly with somebody. You can't have too many friends because then you're just not really friends." - Truman Capote
"A true friend is one who overlooks your failures and tolerates your success!"
Artem Proshak
Гуру
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you welcome